Not the colon cleansing kind. I'm talking about the process of deciding what's worth keeping and what I can do without. We live in a 3,000 square foot home, so the idea of downsizing to a 38 ft max trailer is very motivating. Rather than being weighed down by stuff, we're going to be free to live and "do" stuff.
Going through baby clothes that I will never have a baby to put in again was hard. Tossing Halea's last cast was not (why did I keep that?) I'm a sentimental fool. I've keep every card I've ever been given, every letter that's ever been written, countless journals from times I'd rather forget. It's amazing how much paper I've lugged with me.
I like to take my sweet time to cleanse in waves. This first wave is all the extra crap I don't need now. The next one will be the stuff that we kind of need to live. And the last one will be an estate sale of sorts where only the things that we haven't already gotten rid of and will not be taking with us will be sold. Everything must go! But at least we have roughly 2 years before we go!
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
Sunday, February 14, 2016
Copied from my Fit & Fab blog:
Huge blessings have come our way. I've had an extraordinarily busy
time. All in the same week, I began choreographing a dance for 120 youth
in my church, had finals for Bryce, worked on a report for my church,
planned a relief society birthday dinner also for church, established my
new weight loss group, marathon trained, started fulltiming
researching, and then something I totally didn't expect....The ex
called.
Nine years ago the hubs and I had the ex's rights reduced to supervised visits. He pretty much disappeared after that. He's faded in and out of Bryce's life, but Parker doesn't really know he exists ~ not for lack of trying to explain, I just think he knows the man who has been raising him since he was 8 months old is his dad. He also has never been consistent with his child support. He currently owes me over $26,000 in back support. It should be more, but since he's blown his brain with heroine, the state stopped trying to collect due to his "disability". He wants rid of the child support and he wants to relinquish his rights. Of course he won't do any of the paperwork, so on top of everything else, I also need to dust off my "law degree" and start an adoption proceeding for the hubs to adopt the boys.
This is what we were trying to get him to do nine years ago. I'm kind of angry and relieved all at the same time! I would love all of my kids to have the same last name. I would love for the hubs name to be on their birth certificates. I've wanted this for so long, but I don't know where I'm supposed to fit this major undertaking in. It's crazy! I'm sure I'm supposed to be learning something from this experience, but I'm too overwhelmed to be able to step back and recognize what it is. Am I supposed to learn to delegate? It just seems like this is WAY too much for one person.
Amid all of this overwhelm, I had a tender mercy that proved that my life is in God's hands and I need to just let his will be done.
Months ago, when I realized that I would need to bring Parker and Apollo home for homeschooling next year I was terrified. It's stretched me a lot just to do it with Bryce and he's in high school and reads pretty well. These two do not have the same skills that Bryce does, so the needs they have will present a different degree of difficulty than I've experienced with Bryce. The other part that wasn't making any sense was that I would have to drive Halea to and from school each day to keep her where she's at. But I couldn't handle the thought of jumping in to homeschooling all 4 after I've only had one year of experience with 1pretty easy boy. The hubs and I discussed a possible move to the evening shift that would have him home at night and during the day. He put his name in at that time. It takes six months for positions to open up at his work. It seemed like it would be a long shot to keep him in his current position until we need him home when school starts. Yesterday he was asked if he would like to move to evenings. It pays a significant amount more, he will be home to help me homeschool all 4 (because I'm not driving Ms. Daisy if I don't have to), and it won't start until September! It's perfect!
I can't deny that God is looking out for me. I matter to him. My life and my children's lives matter. He has a plan for us. I don't need to worry. I can face strife and overwhelm knowing that he's in control, and that for all the overwhelm and uncertainty that I experience, it's helping my spirit become stronger.
Nine years ago the hubs and I had the ex's rights reduced to supervised visits. He pretty much disappeared after that. He's faded in and out of Bryce's life, but Parker doesn't really know he exists ~ not for lack of trying to explain, I just think he knows the man who has been raising him since he was 8 months old is his dad. He also has never been consistent with his child support. He currently owes me over $26,000 in back support. It should be more, but since he's blown his brain with heroine, the state stopped trying to collect due to his "disability". He wants rid of the child support and he wants to relinquish his rights. Of course he won't do any of the paperwork, so on top of everything else, I also need to dust off my "law degree" and start an adoption proceeding for the hubs to adopt the boys.
This is what we were trying to get him to do nine years ago. I'm kind of angry and relieved all at the same time! I would love all of my kids to have the same last name. I would love for the hubs name to be on their birth certificates. I've wanted this for so long, but I don't know where I'm supposed to fit this major undertaking in. It's crazy! I'm sure I'm supposed to be learning something from this experience, but I'm too overwhelmed to be able to step back and recognize what it is. Am I supposed to learn to delegate? It just seems like this is WAY too much for one person.
Amid all of this overwhelm, I had a tender mercy that proved that my life is in God's hands and I need to just let his will be done.
Months ago, when I realized that I would need to bring Parker and Apollo home for homeschooling next year I was terrified. It's stretched me a lot just to do it with Bryce and he's in high school and reads pretty well. These two do not have the same skills that Bryce does, so the needs they have will present a different degree of difficulty than I've experienced with Bryce. The other part that wasn't making any sense was that I would have to drive Halea to and from school each day to keep her where she's at. But I couldn't handle the thought of jumping in to homeschooling all 4 after I've only had one year of experience with 1pretty easy boy. The hubs and I discussed a possible move to the evening shift that would have him home at night and during the day. He put his name in at that time. It takes six months for positions to open up at his work. It seemed like it would be a long shot to keep him in his current position until we need him home when school starts. Yesterday he was asked if he would like to move to evenings. It pays a significant amount more, he will be home to help me homeschool all 4 (because I'm not driving Ms. Daisy if I don't have to), and it won't start until September! It's perfect!
I can't deny that God is looking out for me. I matter to him. My life and my children's lives matter. He has a plan for us. I don't need to worry. I can face strife and overwhelm knowing that he's in control, and that for all the overwhelm and uncertainty that I experience, it's helping my spirit become stronger.
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