Monday, January 31, 2011

Softball

My husband is putting together a competitive softball team. He has hand selected his team mates and has a really good team put together. The only problem is that he is supposed to have four ladies on the team and he only has two. I've been biting my tongue, waiting for him to ask me to join the team, but he hasn't yet, so I brought it up to him. He got really quiet, like he was trying to find the right words: HE DIDN'T! What he said was that I would be a really hot softball player, but that I look better in the stands. RUDE!!!! He said the only position I could play would be catcher and that it would bang up my shins when the ball came flying at me. DOUBLE RUDE!!! What it really boils down to is that I'm not a very good softball player ~ ok, any ball player. But I'm his wife and I would think he would want me to be on his team. I guess this sheds new light on where we stand. I will be the best cheerleader (for the other team)!

I still adore my sweetheart ~

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Dr. Pinball







About four years ago, Dr. Pinball (Bryce) went into retirement. You see, Bryce wanted to be a pedicurist, but we strongly encouraged him to be a podiatrist instead. And Dr. Pinball was born. He would operate on peoples feet, using kitchen utensils, removing skunks or whatever else he found in there. He retired about four years ago around the time he discovered Pokemon. Now he has two physician's assistants, Dr. Beak (Parker) and Dr. Flea (Apollo). Dr. Beak is a much better advocate for the patient than Dr. Pinball. Dr. Flea is as cruel as Dr. Pinball, using chip clips on the toes, whacking the soles of the feet with spatulas, anesthetizing with a turkey thermometer. There was a mutany in the operating room (living room). The patient (Ryan) had enough and used the surgical instruments to get his revenge on the cruel doctors. After that was over, Dr. Beak reattached the patient's feet with a pair of tongs and removed "cavities" with a rolling pin. The patient is resting comfortably.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

The great poop hunt

As most of you know, I am phobic of poop (which is really ironic that I would have four kids and go into nursing). Halea is starting to potty train. She had a horrible rash today. I changed her diaper and put a new one on. She came to me pulling at it like she wanted to use the potty. I took her diaper off and sat her on the training potty. I let her be and a few minutes later she found me and pointed to the potty treat closet. I was so excited! I gave her a potty treat and then found that there was nothing in the potty. There was poop running down her leg and I cleaned that up, but now I had to find where she pooped. I searched through the house, becoming more panicked with each room turning up nothing. I still haven't found it. I am pretty rational except when it comes to poop and dead rodents (or alive ones). I feel fear and anxiety for where the poop may be and how I will find it. I wanted to call this the great poop hunt of 2011, but I'm sure there will be more.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

My SUSPICIOUS husband...

  • I went to a first aid class for work. As I was leaving, Ryan went out to the end of our driveway to wait for Apollo's bus. The wind was blowing, so he stood inside of our driveway shielded by our prickly holly bush. After he had been waiting for three minutes, an officer pulled into our driveway and parked right next to Ryan. He got out of his car and interrogated Ryan: what are you doing here, why are you standing there, etc. He said that a neighbor had reported a suspicious person at our house. Ryan explained what he was doing, but the officer didn't believe him. The officer asked him his address and Ryan rattled it off. Then Apollo's bus pulled up. Ryan went to get our boy and the officer left. Ryan came inside and took his mug shot and posted it on facebook.

    It makes me feel so much safer knowing that the Normandy Park Police Department is just a phone call away.
    Kaleo Cornwell Well deserved
    3 hours ago ·
  • Ryan Carter Hoffmann I've lived here for five years! So I was wearing a stocking cap. Can't a guy wear a stocking cap in Normandy Park?
    3 hours ago ·
  • Kaleo Cornwell not combined with your Army Jacket...Hide your kids, hide your wives, hide your husbands....Hoffmans rapin everybody out there in Normandy Park
    3 hours ago · · 4 people
  • Jack Latham Posting your most recent mug shot on Facebook probably doesn't help any. ;)
    3 hours ago ·
  • Stacy Wikle Lol! Clearly you are too much for your neighbors!
    3 hours ago ·
  • Angela Fox Oh my hilarious! How did you discover you had been reported?
    3 hours ago ·
  • Diane Henry lol!
    3 hours ago ·
  • Ryan Carter Hoffmann When a cop rolled up and interrogated me. I'd been out there less than five minutes. I swear! Like three minutes.
    3 hours ago ·
  • Corey Olson Yeah, I can see that. I'm kind of creeped out by the photo. Careful, next thing you know "Dateline NBC" will show up in your kitchen.
    3 hours ago · · 2 people
  • Adam Hughes Normandy Park Cops never forget a face! :)
    3 hours ago · · 1 person
  • Trent N Kailey Barney its cause whitecenter is close by
    2 hours ago ·
  • Darron Marzolf Well that concerned citizen has a keen eye for weirdos. Ha!
    2 hours ago · · 1 person
  • Ryan Carter Hoffmann I'm afraid to go back out there in 10 min. for the next school bus. Maybe I'll roll up my sleeve and stand around with a needle and surgical tubing in my teeth.
    2 hours ago ·
  • Jessica Pierson Roe Lol thank to for that!you made my day! I'm a school bus driver for Highline , no worries it wasn't me that called ya in. I drive evergreen, cascade, and cedarhurst and Beverly park... But from my stand point we really are looking out for "Joe public" if you didn't do that as normal routine (everyday at the same time) it gets noticed by us and we report it :) some innocent , but many caught in the act :)
    about an hour ago ·
  • Melissa Shirley Schechter this made me laugh...though i'm sure in the moment you weren't doing the same :/ i remember those good ol' normandy park cops - they will stop/pull you over for ANYTHING.
    about an hour ago ·
  • Todd Krug That's comedy. You do look suspicious though. Maybe you should attend the next block party and get to know your neighbors.
    about an hour ago ·
  • Tamara Walker oh my. we are getting a little paranoid america, aren't we?
    56 minutes ago ·
  • Andre'a Larson that is HILARIOUS!
    36 minutes ago ·
  • Ryan Carter Hoffmann I don't think it was a complaint. Cop was there 3 minutes after I stepped out. If it was a neighbor, only one possibility. I think they will have a noise complaint someday soon.
    32 minutes ago ·

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Pokey and Stompy

One funny thing I forgot to mention from out trip out the other day: Before you enter the butterfly exhibit you have to go through a pep talk about being really careful to not leave with any butterflies on you or step on them or do anything to disturb them. Of course my boys, now named Pokey (Apollo) and Stompy (Parker) had a hard time resisting the temptation. I don't think they ever hurt the butterflies, but I caught them with that crazy look in their eyes several times, like they were going to do something ~ Parker with his feet, Ollie with a poster they gave him to carry. Halea didn't actually touch the butterfly, she was just pointing REALLY close. Our trip was cut a little short because of them.

Halea has peed on the potty once each day for the last two days. She may potty train before her brother's make it. How exciting!

Monday, January 17, 2011

Curious Minds








We took the kids to the Pacific Science Center today. It was SO much fun! The last time we took all of the kids on an adventure like this was ~ well, I can't remember ~ that's how long it's been. We saw the dinosaurs, sea creatures, naked mole rats (my favorite), a fun train, boa constrictors, butterflies, bugs, star wars characters, etc. We saw everything. I packed us a lunch and we ate outside. Our visit was almost over when we lost Apollo (Adam). He had gone two flights downstairs and was trying to show a worker where he wanted to go. Ryan found him, and he got to enjoy the rest of our visit from the comfort (security) of the stroller. I realized that it's Apollo's curious mind that makes him take off and want to explore on his own. When I look at it that way, it's hard to be upset with him. The kids enjoyed taffy and popcorn on our walk back to the van. It was good day.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Competition Prep

I started a new blog: tiaraplease.blogspot.com

I decided to start another blog because I want to keep my competition prep and my family life journaling separate. My focus in the new blog is to keep track of the ups and downs of my competition prep. I'm hoping that through it other moms will see that their lives and their dreams don't have to stop because they have children.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

My New Boobs




It's no secret that I had my boobs done a month ago, but I haven't really written about it. I took some pictures to send to a friend who is considering having her's done, so I thought I would write about my experience.

A lot of things led me to the decision to have them done. I've wanted great big boobs since I first saw Dolly Parton when I was little. Then after I had Bryce and again after having each baby my breast tissue has become relaxed and deflated, becoming worse each time. When I lost weight for my last competition, they reached an all time low. My sisters and mom couldn't understand what the problem was until I finally showed my baby sister who was pretty shocked at how bad they were. She talked to our other sister and my mom talked to another lady who had it done, and they gave me their support ~ which was VERY important to me. I prayed about it and felt at peace with my decision. (when I prayed about buying a sporty car I felt uneasy).

I chose the most expensive surgeon after researching and going to three different consultations. At the shows you can tell who had their's done at the Avalon clinic and who went to a real Dr. So I saved up and went to the best.

The surgery itself was easy. I was prescribed pain meds to get me through the recovery and I used them faithfully for two weeks. Weaning myself from the pain meds and getting over the anesthesia was REALLY hard! I understand how people can become addicted to pain meds. While I was weaning myself I had some dental work done and it would have been so easy to continue with the meds, but I had to stop. I switched to ibuprofen.

A week ago I noticed that my left one was still sitting up a lot higher than the right one. I jumped back into my regular routine of lifting my kids and so the muscle on my left side was pulling the implant up. I went into the office and they gave me a binder to wear to add pressure that will help the left one to drop. It has helped a lot in a short amount of time. And I've been careful not to lift the kids. Now I sit with them and hold them.

I'm healing. A really valuable lesson that I have learned from this experience is that I need to allow my body the time it needs to heal. When I'm sick I tend to take as little time off as possible until my body is so ill that I can't do anything. And at the first sign of relief I jump back into my routine. Healing takes time.

I'm a month post op and I couldn't be happier with my decision!

Little update:

Pinks was surprised that I said she had given me her support. She did make comments in the days leading up to the surgery, it's not too late to change your mind. I took it as her joking, apparently she wasn't. Too late now!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Two's


Halea's two's are starting early. She's trying so hard to assert her independence. She throws a fit if she's not ready to get dressed. If I try to dress her in something she doesn't want to wear, she throws a fit. She gets mad if I try to get her to go somewhere she doesn't want to go ~ and it changes all the time. I find myself feeling overwhelmed with her and wondering where my sweet, mellow girl went. Then I see her dance and twirl to music and I realize that she's right there. She's just growing up. I adore her. And I don't adore the two's.

Just a little update:

Halea just said her first sentence. She wanted a piece of cheese, so I cut her one (yes, I cut the cheese). When I handed it to her, I said, "say thanks, mom". She replied "thanks, mom". I got to be in her first sentence!!!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Bombshell

Christmas has passed and it's 2011. I joined team bombshell for my competition diet and training. The diet is giving me a lot more calories than I'm used to, but it's still a big change from my holiday and post season binge days. I managed to gain 17 lbs in five weeks ~ there was a surgery and Ryan's mom's passing in there, but still, 17 lbs!!! Ryan and I are doing it together. We go to the gym together, and we eat our meals together. Mine are all weighed and measured, his are not. And his include pretty much whatever he wants, just less of it. Men have weightloss so easy. I'm down two pounds, and have 10-15 to go. I'm not as worried about the scale, but building a bombshell booty it of utmost importance. Wish me luck!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Re-Giftmas




While our kids were away at Grandma's and Grandpa's, we had a lot of fun being just a couple.

We had our annual Re-Giftmas party on New Year's Eve, Eve. We had a great time! I won the ugliest sweater contest which gave me first and last pick on the re gifts. Some tube socks made the rounds and a game called dirty minds made the rounds, especially with the younger crowd. We ended up with a paper shredder. It was a great party!