Huge blessings have come our way. I've had an extraordinarily busy
time. All in the same week, I began choreographing a dance for 120 youth
in my church, had finals for Bryce, worked on a report for my church,
planned a relief society birthday dinner also for church, established my
new weight loss group, marathon trained, started fulltiming
researching, and then something I totally didn't expect....The ex
called.
Nine years ago the hubs and I had the ex's rights reduced
to supervised visits. He pretty much disappeared after that. He's faded
in and out of Bryce's life, but Parker doesn't really know he exists ~
not for lack of trying to explain, I just think he knows the man who has
been raising him since he was 8 months old is his dad. He also has
never been consistent with his child support. He currently owes me over
$26,000 in back support. It should be more, but since he's blown his
brain with heroine, the state stopped trying to collect due to his
"disability". He wants rid of the child support and he wants to
relinquish his rights. Of course he won't do any of the paperwork, so on
top of everything else, I also need to dust off my "law degree" and
start an adoption proceeding for the hubs to adopt the boys.
This
is what we were trying to get him to do nine years ago. I'm kind of
angry and relieved all at the same time! I would love all of my kids to
have the same last name. I would love for the hubs name to be on their
birth certificates. I've wanted this for so long, but I don't know where
I'm supposed to fit this major undertaking in. It's crazy! I'm sure I'm
supposed to be learning something from this experience, but I'm too
overwhelmed to be able to step back and recognize what it is. Am I
supposed to learn to delegate? It just seems like this is WAY too much
for one person.
Amid all of this overwhelm, I had a tender mercy
that proved that my life is in God's hands and I need to just let his
will be done.
Months ago, when I realized that I would need to
bring Parker and Apollo home for homeschooling next year I was
terrified. It's stretched me a lot just to do it with Bryce and he's in
high school and reads pretty well. These two do not have the same skills
that Bryce does, so the needs they have will present a different degree
of difficulty than I've experienced with Bryce. The other part that
wasn't making any sense was that I would have to drive Halea to and from
school each day to keep her where she's at. But I couldn't handle the
thought of jumping in to homeschooling all 4 after I've only had one
year of experience with 1pretty easy boy. The hubs and I discussed a
possible move to the evening shift that would have him home at night and
during the day. He put his name in at that time. It takes six months
for positions to open up at his work. It seemed like it would be a long
shot to keep him in his current position until we need him home when
school starts. Yesterday he was asked if he would like to move to
evenings. It pays a significant amount more, he will be home to help me
homeschool all 4 (because I'm not driving Ms. Daisy if I don't have to),
and it won't start until September! It's perfect!
I can't deny
that God is looking out for me. I matter to him. My life and my
children's lives matter. He has a plan for us. I don't need to worry. I
can face strife and overwhelm knowing that he's in control, and that for
all the overwhelm and uncertainty that I experience, it's helping my
spirit become stronger.
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