Thanksgiving

Ryan's mom died on Thursday night at 9:03. We had known it was coming, so we made sure to spend as much time with her as possible. Each of the kids got to see her before she passed. Ryan and I were both with her, holding her hands when she took her last breath. We felt blessed to be able to share that experience.

When I told Parker that Grandma had died he said, "Well, I guess it's time to get a new grandma, and this time not let her get sick".

Our ward has been pulling together to support us with meals and phone calls of comfort. My friends at the Y have offered comfort. I feel so blessed to be surrounded with a great supportive group of friends, especially because family is far away (but not for long because they will be here for Thanksgiving).

I'm surprised at how hard this has been. Watching her gasp for breath, watching her body waste away to a skeleton, it was all hard. I thought I would feel more of a sense of relief, but I'm really just sad. I miss caring for her. It still hasn't hit me that she's gone. I still feel like I should be doing something all the time. Last night I was watching Hannah Montana the movie with my kids and I looked at the clock and thought I needed to go out and care for Leslie, and then it washed over me again that she's gone. It will be nice when everything adjusts back to normal.

Although it's been hard, it's been one of the greatest growing experiences of my life. Ryan and I are a better couple for having had this experience. Thanksgiving will have special meaning for me this year.