I WON (sort of)

I won ~ ok, I didn't actually win the competition (or even place in the top five), but I did win in some other ways.

Yesterday morning I woke up at 3:30 am and couldn't sleep anymore, so I got up figuring it would work to my advantage because I would sleep great the night before the competition. I was wrong. This morning I woke up at 2:30 am and couldn't get back to sleep, so I had plenty of time to clean the house, make breakfast for the kids, get Leslie's morning routine taken care of, do my own spray tan (saving $100), etc. I said goodbye to the family and left. When I got out to the van, there was a tiara sitting on the dashboard and a letter from Ryan. The letter made me laugh and cry all at the same time ~ I do have the best husband.

When I got to the competition, I was surprised at how dark everyone was. White and Asian girls looking like they had baked themselves in Jamaica for seven years. Although my home spray tan made me look dark, I was pale compared to the other girls. Lesson #1: find an alternative to home spray tan, probably just spend the money.

Everyone was SO kind and considerate of everyone else. Everyone was beautiful and starving and dehydrated, but we all managed to be courteous toward each other. The show offered free makeup by a professional makeup artist, so of course I took advantage ~ it was free, why not. Most of the other girls took advantage, too. I noticed that if you have a flat iron, spray glue, or hairspray you're pretty much a rock star among the ladies. I had spray glue, so I rocked. Lesson #2: remember my flat iron and hair spray next time and Lesson #3: Do my own makeup ~ I know my face better than anyone else and my makeup ended up looking pretty messy.

I felt at peace from the moment I got in the van and read Ryan's letter. My nerves did not get to me. As other girls were shaking and wishing for the experience to be over, I was just thankful that I wasn't at home changing diapers. Lesson #4: Next time get nervous earlier. It wasn't until the finals (after the judging had been done) that I really got nervous and put my best foot forward and could taste how badly I wanted to win.

When I was called on to stage for the last time, I enjoyed my moment, sure that it wouldn't be my last. At the end we had a parade for us to go through the audience and display ourselves one last time. I was shocked when I went backstage and was not "called back" to go back out on stage to receive my tiara. I was SHOCKED! Comparing myself to the other girls, they were pretty, and dark tan, and have fake boobs (and don't have four kids) and had bright sparkling diamonds on their suits. I didn't have anything bright and sparkly on my flat black suit. Lesson #5: Get a sparkly, shiny bikini.

Ryan, his friend Ollie, and our friends Reggie and Edwin were there to cheer me on. I was so grateful for their support. We went to eat at the buffet in the facility afterwards. I ate a vegas-style feast. I started out with mongolian grill and a side of bacon, and ended up with a sampling of every dessert they had. Since then I've binged on mini candybars, a scone, and veggie delite pizza.

I'll be back on my diet tomorrow, but I'm enjoying my binge tonight. I have a 1/2 marathon in two weeks and my next show in November!

So I won a reaffirmation of how great my husband is, a new confidence that I can parade around in nearly nothing and enjoy it, and I'm pretty sure I will win a great night's sleep tonight.